Once upon a time a boy was watching a flock of sheep on the edge of town. The townspeople told him to blow his trumpet and cry “Wolf” if he ever saw a wolf. One afternoon the boy was bored and decided to blow the trumpet and cry “Wolf” to see what would happen. When he did, all the townspeople stopped what they were doing and ran to help the boy. The boy thought it was fun to make all the people run out to help him, so he did it two more times. Finally, the fourth time, when the wolf was actually attacking, no one came and the wolf ate the boy.

The moral of the story: One should not pretend to have problems when they don’t, because people will eventually stop coming to help you.

Reason Liberals can’t tell this story as written: Liberals don’t want to believe the wolves exist at all. They think the wolves wouldn’t attack the sheep if we were just nicer to them. I think you will get the idea when you read this old classic and apply the liberal mind set.

One morning a young boy was watching a flock of sheep near the village. Suddenly, a wolf jumped on one of the sheep and killed it.

Immediately, the wolf was able to kill several other sheep. The meadow was covered with blood. The young boy ran into the village and cried, “Wolf!” The townsfolk asked him what happened.

“The wolf was dressed in a sheep outfit and he killed so many sheep…it was horrible,” the boy said.

The Woodsman jumped on a chair and announced to the crowd, “I will protect the sheep by going into the forest and killing the wolves that attacked our sheep. In addition, I will kill any of the wolves that say they want to kill our sheep.” The crowd cheered.

Then a professor from the University addressed the crowd. “Hold on everyone,” he shouted. “You all know I am smarter than you, and the Woodsman is just a stupid fraternity boy. The wolves are wonderful creatures, they are misunderstood, and actually the sheep are the reason for the wolves attacking. Remember the wolf was dressed like a sheep, so we need to watch the sheep very closely. We have to check every sheep, just in case some of them are actually wolves.”

The crowd started to nod their heads in agreement. The professor continued, “But, we can’t just assume that a wolf is bad because it is a wolf. We must learn how wonderful the wolves are. If you just want to kill the wolves you are worse than the terrorists.”

So the village people made every sheep go through a metal detector and get inspected every tie they went to the meadow. Then the news channels started making fun of the Woodsman and ran him out of town. Soon the wolves moved into the city and the townsfolk all lived in terror every after until one day the wolves imposed their law that all creatures that are not wolves must die. So the wolves ate everyone and the wolves lived happily every after.

The Little Red Hen wanted to make some bread.  She went to her friend, the Cow, and asked if she would like to help her plant the seeds to grow the wheat with which she would make her bread.  The Cow did not want to help because she wanted to stay in the pasture and chew her cud.  As the Little Red Hen proceeded through the process of making the bread by harvesting the wheat, milling the flour, baking the bread, she in turn asked each of her friends if they would like to help.  Each friend declined in favor of playing or resting or just being lazy.  Finally, the Little Red Hen was finished and ha a wonderful loaf of bread.  Each of her friends now wanted to share her bread, but she told each of them, “None of you wanted to help me, so now I will not share my bread with any of you.”

The moral of the story:  We should always do our part and help out, and if you work hard now you will be rewarded in the future.  Delayed satisfaction is the lost virtue of this generation.

Why Liberals could never share this story as written:  Liberals believe once you have a certain amount of money, you no longer should get to keep any more of what you make.  Redistribution of wealth is central to the liberal agenda.

One afternoon on the farm, Sarah, the Little Red hen, had a wonderful idea.  She would grow some wheat and mill the wheat she grew into flour and use the flour to make some nice loaves of bread.  She walked out of her coop and towards the pasture and on her way she saw her good friend Rosie the Pig. “Good morning Rosie,” the Little Red Hen announced.  “I am going to plant some seeds and water them.  Do you want to help me? If you do, I will share my bread with you.”

“Well you see, Sarah, I am not sure I want to help you.  I kinda wanted to sit around the barnyard and relax a little. So not I,” said the Pig.  The Little Red Hen replied, “Very well I will do it myself.”  And she did.  She planted her seeds and over the next few weeks she watered and tended her plants until they stood tall and golden ready for harvest.

The next morning The Little Red Hen got up really early and headed to her wheat field.  On the way she saw her old pal. Nancy the Dog.  “Nancy, would you like to help me harvest the wheat?”  “Oh no, I need to lie around and think of something to protest, so I can make the world a better place.  So not I,” said the Dog.  “Very well, I will do it myself.”  And that is what she did.

The next morning the Little Red Hen was very excited about grinding the wheat into flour.  “I cannot help you because I never work unless I am represented by the Union, besides that is the kind of job that Americans don’t want to do.  Maybe you should ask an illegal immigrant to do that kind of work.  So not I,” said the Sheep.  The Little Red Hen scratched her head in amazement and confusion.  “Very well, I will do it myself.”  And that is exactly what she did.

Finally, the day came when the Little Red Hen could make her bread.  She had worked so hard but she just needed on last step so she could enjoy the fruits of her labors.  She asked her friend, Hillary the Donkey, if she would like to help her cook the bread.  “Oh I don’t know if that would be a very good idea.  You see I am getting so much federal aid that if I got a job I would lose so much, so I’d better not.  I wouldn’t want to lose what the government can give me.  So not I,” said the Donkey.  “Very well, I will do it myself.”  With that she went into the kitchen and baked the bread.

As the bread began to bake the smell moved throughout the barnyard.  Soon all the animals were standing outside the window where the Little Red Hen was baking.  Barry, the Framer, smelled the bread.  When he arrived, several of the barnyard animals were chanting.  “Make her pay her fair share!”

Barry, the farmer, met The Little Red Hen as she came out of the barn with her bread under her wing.  “I can’t let you have this bread,” he said.  “It is not fair to all the other animals in the barnyard if you don’t pay your fair share.”  Then he took the bread from The Little Red Hen and started handing it out to all of the other animals.  Soon he only held a heel in his hand and with a smile on his face he gave The Little Red Hen the heel.  He then said, “Animals of the Barnyard, I fed you today, and I made the greedy, selfish Red Hen pay her fair share.  There will be more bread where that came from as soon as she makes more.  If she is too lazy to do her part, I can always borrow money from the Chinese farmer down the road to buy more bread.  Besides we will be dead ling before any of us have to pay it back.  So enjoy your hope, change and free bread.”